The day the 'Bros before Ho's Gang' died
by writeratheart007
Summary: When Ginny and Hermione are heart-broken by Harry and Ron, what will Draco and Severus come up with to help teach the boys a lesson. Will the girls be able to find happiness in vindication? Or will they stay broken?


The day the 'Bros before Ho's Gang' died

Disclaimer ** As usual I only own this particular story line, not the characters or anything else in it. (Woe is me)

(I came up with this idea, after a particularly bad day. It's just a one timer, but a good sized one I think. Lemme know what you all think.)

It was two years after the fall of Voldemort and the 'golden trio' had become finally the gruesome foursome in some circles. The public seeing Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger on the arms of their respective men. The famous "I killed Voldemort twice and lived" Harry potter, and the "I live to be a Quiddich star and a Potter Sidekick" Ron Weasley. Both of the boys had filled out and were sporting rather attractive looking muscles, as well as that well practiced debonaire smile that seemed to bring the women in droves to their knees. The boys thought that they were having a grand ole time, but small things, as they usually had a tendancy to do started cropping up that was catching both the girls attentions.  
It was on a day when both of the girls were sitting at Hermione's apartment when she looked at Ginny and said, "So they think we've been at work for an hour now, knowing Ron he's only now eatting breakfast." Those amber colored eyes that usually sparkled with so much mirth and amusement having dulled to an almost muddy brown.  
The once almost sapphire blue eyes of Ginny Weasley had also dulled to a rather listless stormy dirty murky blue. "And Harry is probably over there right now having a second breakfast, I know I've caught him heading out about now through the floo."  
With a look of resignation and a hinted glimmer of hope, both women move to put a silencio spell on the floo before setting it to open into the kitchen at Ron's flat. Both heads sharing the green flame quietly as they listen in on the men as they are laughing over rather overflowing plates of food.

"Come on Ron, so you coming out with me an Sheryl tonight? Hermione's working till late right? Both the girls have one of their all night sessions and won't be available till tomorrow morning. Come on, we're gonna go to that little bar outside of the 'White Lantern' thats in downtown London." Those green eyes laughingly watching Ron's face light up as he worked to finish chewing his mouth full of food before talking. A habit that Hermione had finally broken him of after several broken toes.  
"You got it man, I'll bring.. let's see." Pulling out what looked to be a rather small black book from under a hidden slot under the kitchen table. Flipping through the pages and then nodding, "Yeah, I'll bring Angela tonight. She's a lil on the thin side, but seriously she's flexible in ways you wouldn't believe. Something to definately keep a man warm on those lonely nights if you know what I mean." Laughing loudly as both men high fived each other as if they were still 5th years in Hogwarts.

It took all that Hermione had to keep Ginny from rushing through the fire and breaking both the men's necks and she hisses, "No. Wait. We'll get them. Do you remember those outfits that we got for our Anniversary dinners? The ones we never got to have because the boys were supposedly working?" Watching as the seething red-head next to her lifts her now tear filling eyes to look into hers, followed by a slow nod. "Alright, here's what we do. We're going to that bar tonight, and the guys won't know what hit them. They also won't know it's us. I've got one of these recorders that we can put at the table the guys are at under a dissolution spell. We'll record what they say not only with the women but also when they're by themselves. And then they'll never know what hit them. They called us both Slitherin Whores a year ago for taking on Severus and Draco as friends? Well maybe it's time to show them just what we learned. And show them what we'd been trying to NOT believe."  
She was on a roll and Ginny could tell, just sitting back against the chair table while looking to the still green flames. As a rather simple amplification spell has Ron's voice echoing into the room : ~~You know Harry. I'm gonna miss these days when we finally decide to listen to mum and ask the girls to marry us. I mean, ok so she's got a nice chest and her eyes ok. But she just doesn't shut up. And she's a bloody cold fish, you'd think after three years she woulda given it up. I mean come on, it's not like she's anything that special, you know if I hadn't of gotten her that weekend at the spa on our one year anniversary it would still be like I was trying to cuddle up to a brillo pad.~ Hearing this, Hermione just went silent as all the color went out of her face. Staring at the flames as she sat rather heavily on the floor, tears running unchecked down her cheeks as more of the light went out of the woman's eyes.  
About to say something to try and help her best friend, Ginny found herself interrupted by Harry's voice : ~~Yeah I know. And don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't love bein part of your family, but Hermione and her 'propriety' kick. I swear she's got too much of Hermione in her, and I've tried to set her up with a couple of other women for influence sakes? You think I can get her to bloody untie the Hogwarts strings and not bring her along? You've got the Ice Queen and Ice Princess in the making. I mean at least Ginny can cook but she doesn't have an original bone in her body, it's Hermione and mum say this and Minerva says that.~~ No tears run down Ginny's face but it's as if both the girls at that moment had lost their will to do anything but sit there. Not even registering the door opening and closing, or the sounds of a couple of voices coming from Hermione's front foyer.  
To say that Draco Malfoy was shocked was an understatement. He'd been known to walk into Hermione's apartment and find Ginny there on their days off, he'd been planning on inviting the girls over to the house for lunch for the day. He knew they were home, the indicator spell pointed them both in the kitchen. But when he'd walked around the corner, and of all things was hearing sounds as if the Weasel and Potty were in the house and walking right by him confusion was something that showed easily. That is till he saw the open floo and saw the girls in their distressed state. Swearing under his breath, he didn't do anything other than try and get their attentions. Seeing both girls in what looked to be a state of shock, he brought out his wand, casting an 'expecto patronum' and said, "Tell Severus to get a substitute for the day, it's an emergency, the girls are in trouble. Get over to Hermione's now. He'll have to apparate outside, the floo is locked open." Knowing better than to mess with anything spells wise in this apartment before then moving over to try and get to between the girls. This wasn't easy as the only way to get to them without walking into the fireplace itself was under the kitchen table. Lifting his eyes skywards he mutters under his breath, "Merlin, I hope no one sees this." Crawling on his hands and knees till he was between them both and then with gentle nudges pulling them each to the closest shoulder.  
Now, Severus Snape was not a slow man by nature, this seen in a myriad of ways during not only school years, but during the war and then afterwards as well. Though to say he broke a few records would also be an understatement. As Draco had no sooner pulled the girls to him than the door opened and slammed closed. His rather heavy footsteps, showing his lack of concern on if anyone knew he'd arrived or not pulling his form into the kitchen and to the scene he found. "Sweet Morgana." He whispered before moving over to Hermione's form as she was the closest. "Here, I'll take 'mione. You take Ginerva, we'll get them into the livingroom." Then calls out loudly, "Dobby! You better have followed me! I need two large extra chocolaty hot cocoa's and four quilts."  
The sound of the popping in houseelf showing he had indeed heard the call. The normally earflapping elf looking to the two women and hen snapping the makings of the cocoa to start floating around the kitchen. Disappearing with a sharp nod of his head as he muttered, "What ever happened to wonderful friend Harry Potter."  
The two men moved carefully to lift each their burdeon's murmuring softly to the women who seemed to be stuck in this state of self induced shock. "What the hell happened, Severus. The floo is locked open and I'm thinking is was locked to the Weasel's house. Whatever they heard.. I've never seen either of them so completely broken before." The blond haired man asked his mentor as he moved to one of the two couches in the livingroom. Settling the girl on to his lap as he sat down and waited for two blankets to settle over her otherwise still form.  
"I'm thinking that our theories about the boys, and warning the girls on things to look out for finally hit home. It's very possible they heard and found out something they weren't prepared for. Minerva is also on her way over once the classes have started at the school, I thought they might need a woman to help." The potions master gruffly answered as he settled himself on the other couch with Hermione draped over his knees. "Come on 'mione. Come on sweetheart, don't let them win. Snap out of it." Smoothing her rather ruffled hair back behind her ears with an uncharacteristically soft touch.

It took a good twenty minutes before the sounds of soft sobs begun to come from each of the girls. First Ginny, and followed not long after by the know-it-all of Hogwarts. Their shoulders shaking as both the girls, seeming either unaware or unknowing of who was holding them as their broken hearts started to slowly lend voice to their pain. As if in that age old way of all women, Minerva chose that moment to come into the house by the front door. Hearing the slowly beginning sobs and watching the men rock them gently though looking rather lost on what to do. Her own old eyes crinkling in barely restrained pain for the girls she considered psuedo children of her own. Before then motioning Severus over to the couch that Draco was on. Scooting him over gently before then helping turn Ginny so that her hair was within stroking reach, "There there." She whispered gently. That was all it took for the girls to turn from the men's holds slightly to each take one of Minerva's shoulders. Arms tangling around each other as the sobs turned to angry wailing. No words needed as they just clung to her tightly.  
Taking the opprotunity, both Slitherins stood then to not only stretch their legs but to give the women a chance to bond and grieve together. Though Severus' body was almost vibrating in his rage, and Draco just had this overly still look, his gaze distant as if he were already plotting. Neither one talking, but it was Dobby's voice that interrupted them all. "Scuse me sirs? Ma'am's?" HOlding out the small metal recorder that had long since shut itself off. Making sure it dropped into Severus out stretched hand as he growled out distractedly, "What Dobby."  
"Dobby be finding this in the kitchen. It was talking in Mr. Harry Potters, and Ronald Friends voices. Then there was Mistress Ginny and Mistress Mione. Thinks you should be listening too, but Dobby doesn't know how to make it talk again." The drooping ears and rather shamefilled drooping of the elven shoulders beneith the Hogwarts crest he wore in his uniform showing through in his self recrimination.  
"It's muggle technology Dobby. I know how it works, you've done good. Would you go check on the cocoa? The girls will be neeeding it, and from the look of the lack of plates, I'm guesing neither of them ate. Maybe some toast and grapes? Maybe strawberries? Something easy on the stomaches." Answered the Potions master with a hint of both anger and amusement at Dobby's confusion. ONly after the elf had left did he rewind, then play the recording. Minerva's hands moving automatically to cover the ears of the girls who had cried themselves into a light doze. But the more they all heard, the more angry they became. Only at the point when Draco's footsteps and voice were heard did he shut it off. Struggling not to break the device as he set it down, before then moving over to kneel in front of Minerva and Hermione. Draco following suit in front of Ginny.  
The boys called the names of the girls, stirring them gently, hands brushed at the rather messed up curls of both women from the two men and Minerva before the girls launched themselves at the men in front of them. Their faces burying in their shoulders as no more tears came but the shaking continued. "Ginny, don't listen to it... don't ok? You were always too good for him, and his treating you like this just proves it."  
Severus' method was of course all his own as he briskly said, "Hermione Granger, don't you dare let that red headed imbicile get to you. You are worth a hundred of that dunderhead, and if he can't realize the treasure he has in you then he deserves what he gets." His arms tightening around her as if to crush her while burying his nose into the vanilla scented hair that could have strangle him had it been given the chance, but he didn't seem to care.  
Unable to stop the faint twitching of her lips, Minerva's gaze alighted on the men holding the two broken hearted girls. Watching the couples in silent understanding as the men seemed to wrap a protective coccoon of warmth around them. Oh yes, the love there that the girls had been completely oblivious to was as clear as day to her. The pain wouldn't stay long, she could see it now, but first to make sure those boys got everything they had coming to them. She wasn't normally a vindictive type, but there were times when lessons neeeded to be learned. And this was one of those times.

About an hour later and many more times of the girls losing contreol of their pain before each had been moved to opposite sides of the table in the kitchen. Nibbling on toast and sipping on cocoa as the color started to return to their faces, but neither had said anything. Both were reaching for their second cups of cocoa when Minerva's hand slammed down on the table, making Ginny drop her cup to the floor, the mug breaking while the cocoa splashed over her feet. Hermiones just dropped on to the table spreading a river of chocolate over the top as well as down the front of her skirt. Both girls blinking with in tandum squeels yelling, "Minerva! What the bloody hell!"  
With a rather satisfied smile Minerva calmly sat back down in her chair befoee saying, "Oh good, you two are still alive. I was beginning to wonder." Her wave waving over the table and floor to make the messes she caused clean themselves up. Before then motioning to the chairs, "Sit down girls. The guys and I have some things to add to your plans for tonight." Giving a look to Severus who stood to first shut the floo and lock it from incoming visitors, and following it up with the front door, and even going as far as to set Draco as the secret keeper to Hermione's apartment before coming back in and leaning against the door jam. "First of all, we wanted to know, what you two planned on doing with the information you find out."  
This question made both the girls look at each other. Seeming to think about it for a long moment, and only then did Hermione stand up and move to the floo. "I'll be right back." Unlocking it and disappearing into green flames before coming back a moment later and relocking it before then moving to sit down. Dropping down on the table two black books making Ginny's eyes widen almost owlishly wide. "His was there too?" Came the angry yell, only to be answered by Hermione with a single nod.  
"These are all the addresses and names of the witches that both Ron and Harry had been 'keeping on tap' according to them. You'll notice a lot of these witches are in both books. And there's a star system and notes in front of all their addresses. Specifics on even sizes and... " Swollowing thickly as she looks to Ginny who had been looking over the book with Harry's name on it.  
"And tightness as well as things they're good at and willing to do." Comes the red-heads finishing of the comment. "Other than castrating them both permanently what can we do? They're the 'saviors' and women just fall into their laps."  
It's Draco who moves from where he had been silently in the back of the kitchen. His hands moving to rest on the table corner before saying, "So let's show the wizarding world just how they really are. Let's use that recording thing and then give it to your friend and mind. Rita Skeeter." Making the girls cringe till he held up a hand, "Did I tell you of the new spell I came up with for the Prophet to use on their papers? Take a recorded bit of information when it's auditory only and then bind it to the page. Able to be easily played with a flick of a wand. They can't argue their own words, with pensieve copies of memories upon request? it'sd not slander if it's true."  
No one had noticed Severus going to pick up the two books as they were set down. Thumbing through the pages before stopping on two particular pages. His voice loudly bursting out into a booming laugh. "You might be well glad that you two have more sense than those two." Turning the books around and pointing to the matching name. "Trisha Revenaldo. Was just admitted to St. Mungo's with two different kinds of Wizard transmitted diseases." His brow lifting at the rather green look on his companions faces. "Now I remember, because I had to make the potions. And I know she's had them for at least six months due to the severity. The dates in these books say they only met her three weeks ago. That means she shared. And every woman those two idiots have been with since then is at risk. How 'nice' of the boys to mark down the dates they'd been with the women and how to contact them. I think this is enough of a reason to contact the CDC of wizarding control for a situation and perhaps have them show up at a specific time at the bar tonight?"  
At that. All five of the people at the tabe found their smiles and evil smirks popped out. Starting to work on writing out owls marked 'urgent' as well as another 'anonymous' one to Rita Skeeter. With a time, a place and a rather vague synopsis informing her of her want to be at the bar and in her... 'unseen form.

8:00 at the White Lantern, a black haired beauty sauntered way into the bar with her own arms hooked around the muscular bicep of Ron Weaseley, while a woman with blond hair almost to her knees who had a look much like Luna Lovegood only not even a quarter as intelligent was draped against Harry's side. The two women staring up at their dates with ice blue eyes that sparkled with hero worshipping adorating and hunger.  
Both the men looked a bit puffed up, wearing jeans that were half sizes too tight but showing off their 'jewels' and asses without leavinf anything to the imagination. It was easy to see why both men were adored especially if the padded fronts were anything to go by. Dissolutioned in a table next to the 'reserved' table were two wizards, and two witches that were just waiting for people to arrive. Hermione in the corner ready to turn on the recorder when the boys arrived.  
A high pitched giggle from the black haired beauty made all the people at the table cringe as she started swooning worse than Lavendar ever did. "Mmmm Ron, I just can't wait to get you to my place tonight. Do you know what I'm gonna let you do to me?" She asks in a voice none too quiet, and neither of the men seemed to mind. Leaning in close to him her lips touched his ear as it turned a deliciously red ear whispering things that made his eyes go wide and made him start licking his lips rather urgently. Laughing with that high pitched squeel she grabbed the hand of the almost anorexic blond, "Come on Angela, let's go into the back and freshen up. The guys can get us soem drinks huh?" Tossing them winks as both girls twitched their hips faintly, sending their almost non existant skirts flipping up faintly but suggestively.  
Groaning both men just sit down rather heavily at their table and start laughing, not noticing the record that had been silently clicked on under their table, or the green bug that was poised within a blanket picture frame watching and listening everything. "Harry, seriously, that horrendous laugh is worth it if she does even /half/ of what she said she would. Seriously, I could toss our four of the girls from our books just to keep her around, she's like all of them all rolled into one delicious package. I was thinking we were gonna have to get ahold of a nother couple of books the way we were going, the amount of girls we've managed to collect, but we might actually be able to start paring them down now. Mmmm, although those twins and triplets I'm gonna miss. We have to keep them."  
Flagging down a new looking waiter, Harry was too busy answering his table partner to notice that the new waiter had an Auror striped arm band on his left upper arm. Or that it was a camoflaged face with a look he himself had used on missions. "I'm tellin ya Ron, she does it all, and some that I didn't write down. We could get rid of half the bloody books with just these two. I'm tellin ya, they showed me things I'd never even heard of and half the stamina to go all fuckin night lon-" Pausing when a large hand suddenly grabbed on to his wrist. "What the bloody hell? Let the fuck go of m.." Trailing off as he looked up and suddenly went bugg eyed at seeing his supervisor there next to them. "Sir!" Having long since learned when Lupin was wearing his Auror stripes and had that look, /not/ to pull the godfather card.  
"Harry James Potter, and Ronald Bilius Weaseley, you are here by quarantined by the CDC Wizard Council." Neither of the boys noticing that their dates had come back into the room proper and were staring with eyes so wide they looked like cartoon characters. A green tint having started over their skin at what they were hearing. "You have been found to have been introduced to Hempernitus 201B and Vinesculum Fertosis!" Lupin's wand raises putting them both in a statis field, their bodies stiffening as they said, "Any witches or wizards you've been with sexually in the last three months will have to be contacted, as they also will have to go into quarantine for the next 6 months." Oh yes, the 'wizards' part wasn't missed by the rapidly growing crowd while the two women just sob loudly and then at the amount of time lisated start screaming.  
"Those bloody bastards gave us diseases? Oh bloody fucking hell! Let them out of those fields i'm gonna castrate em!" Both girls yell trying to get past Lupin to the boys being floated out of the room and then apparated away. With sharp nods from the auror's behind the women, they were grabbed on to and apparated out as well. Only then did Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley let themselves be seen. Moving to stand where people could see them but not obviously so as Rita Skeeter changed into her human form, smoothing back her rather wild blond curls.  
"Well, well, if it isn't Miss Granger. Now tell me Miss Granger, how does it feel knowing-" But she was cut off by both the red haired and auburn haired witches shoving scrolls at Rita, "I think yo'll find Mis Skeeter that these as of one hour ago show that both Ginny and myself are still pure Witches. And obviously didn't know about this." Interrupted Hermione with a stiff but otherwise bland tone. Surprisingly enough Rita just took these with a grin and wink before starting to head out, "Come along Charline we have a story to write!" Skuttling out like the beetle she was.

Sighing softly, Ginny found herself leaning in against Draco's arm, "I already contacted mum, having her not show up tonight I had to have the boys slip a sleeping potion into her tea, otherwise she would have ruined everything." Relaxing the smallesty bit as the youngest Malfoy rested his arm around her waist and his hand on her stomache lightly. "I just don't know how we're going to face people tomorrow."  
Remus, who had been there when Severus and Draco had brought the evidence to him stood off to the side, watching the two witches he loved as sisters seek comfort from the two most unlikely sources. Hermione having been almost engulfed within Severus' robes as if to stave off the chill she felt despite the number of bodies in the room. Clearing his throat after a moment of contemplation he said, "hello girls. You're doing alright, yeah?" Looking to the women and seeing their hints of smiles, returning the smiles warmly, pecking their cheeks in one after the other. "I wanted to let you know before I go, you each have three weeks leave coming up and I took the liberty of signing up forms for you to take them now. Go away for a little while, take some time for you, go to the spa, raid the book store. Whatever suits your fancy." Watching the soft female faces alight in shock and then glee, he just laughed lightly and says, "You're welcome." Before bowing to the men and saying, "By the way, Minerva wanted me to give you these." Handing each of the men a scroll with a knowing smirk as he turnerd to head out.

Neither of the men seemed to know what to say, opening up the scrolls they both said the same thing. 'Happy 3 week vacation. Take care of our girls. -Minerva'. The shared look given from the men made them both grin, and scoop up both Ginny and Hermione. "Severus Snape! What in the wo-" Her words cut off by the dual apparation that both men used to take the women back to Malfoy manner. Instantaneously ducking the moment they landed prepared for the beating the two girls started to give them. "Wait wait! Look!" Holding upthe scrolls, though Ginny's temper seemed to be a bit more in control than Hermione was. Gasping sharply, Ginny reached out to give Hermione's arm a sharp tug, making her tilt off balance, "Look!" She gasps.  
"How would you both like to go to Greece for a couple of weeks? Take some time away? Let things calm down? Relax? It's on us?" Black eyes meeting Amber ones with that same stoic manner though the hint of hopefulness in them making the once look of rage softening and crinkling at the corners with a warm smile. While a pair of silver grey eyes met the soft blue ones and another smile is given hesitantly in answer. The two girls looked to each other and then back to their men again giving warm smiles and nods. "ok."

DAILY PROFIT

WIZARD HEROES CARRYING SEXUAL DISEASES!

RON WEASLEY AND HARRY POTTER ARE MODERN DAY TYPHOID MARY'S!

426 WOMEN INFECTED!

The three weeks in Greece were not only a time of healing, but also introspection as well as enlightenment for Ginny and Hermione. The time with the two men being some of the best that either could think of. It was only about a year later, that both Ginny and hermione were walking down the isle in a double wedding. Ginny becoming the new mistress of Malfoy manner, and Hermione becoming the new lady of Snape manor.  
Harry and Ron ended up both being sued to the point where Harry's massive fortune was pretty much dwindled to the point of giving him a year to find work and keep galleons coming in. Neither ended up marrying into the massively flexible or sexually active women. Instead, Harry ended up staying single and then leaving everything to Teddy Lupin, given that he was next in line on the Black side of things. While Ron ended up marrying Pansy Parkinson, and turning into the type of husband that was seen in shadows, never heard, signing where he was told to sign. Neither of the men had any children.

(OOC : How many times have we women wished something like this could teach our ex's lessons?) 


End file.
